You Can’t Know Until You Know: How to Move from “Knowing” to True Understanding
In today’s world, growth feels more urgent than ever.
Recognizing and grappling with privilege, navigating a volatile political climate, and researching companies to decide where not to put your money so you don’t accidentally contribute to the acceleration of climate change is a lot.
And that isn’t even taking into account our personal growth goals- things like untangling childhood trauma, navigating societal expectations, and finding a career you enjoy, which are also a lot.
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We have access to so much information today, yet there is a seemingly endless list of things to urgently learn and unlearn and a depth to histories that have been ignored or purposefully misrepresented.
We can know things, like the sun is the center of our solar system and cats don’t like to swim, but we don’t always “know” things until we have a firsthand experience or hear a personal account.
Story Time: How I Went from “I knew that” to “Oh…Now I Really Get it”
I went to the Ohio State University for my undergrad degree. I “knew” that when most colleges were founded, they were founded only for men and usually only white men.
Yet I didn’t truly understand this fact until one day, walking down the hall of one of the first buildings constructed on campus.
I was on my way to music class and needed to stop to use the restroom before class started. I remembered that the restrooms in this building went every-other floor. A men’s restroom on the first floor, a women’s restroom on the second floor, a men’s on the third floor, and so on.
As I stomped up the stairs I thought to myself, “Who would design a building this way? It makes no sense.“
Then it hit me…the building wasn’t designed this way. It wasn’t designed to be shared at all.
It was built with one restroom on each floor, a men’s restroom, because men were the only ones who walked these halls in the 1800s when it was built.
I initially felt a prickle of deeper understanding crawl over my skin. Oh shit, women used to be excluded from this place…from all higher education.
Then I felt upset with myself for my ignorance.
I “knew” this fact, but I really didn’t understand the weight of it before this experience.
And so it goes with many of the things we are untangling today.
We “know” that hunger exists for many people.
We “know” that climate change is causing droughts and flooding all across the world.
We “know” that the mullet is a hairstyle that should never make a comeback.
But we might “know” these things and not truly understand their truth by just thinking about them.
It’s natural to try and better ourselves with books and TedTalks and documentaries, but unless we put ourselves in situations to truly saturate our brains in an experience, we may never truly know.
The phrase “learn from experience” seems to hold true as the most powerful generator of true knowing.
For example, you might have “known” that someone who talks down to you isn’t a good life partner, but maybe you decided to stay and work at the relationship for months or years until one day things finally felt clear.
Hindsight is 20/20, and sure it would be great to have the insight in the moment and make choices differently, but we only gain hindsight by moving through an experience.
If we berate ourselves for knowing but not knowing, or knowing but not acting, or knowing but testing the waters just in case things are different for this situation or relationship or experience or haircut, we will find ourselves stuck in guilt or shame and not at all moving forward with our newfound knowing.
So from one lifelong learner to another, I encourage you to put yourself into new and different situations that might grow your know even just a little bit.
Volunteer at a food bank or an after school program.
Start composting your food scraps or plant a butterfly garden.
Ask a friend for her honest opinion on your partner’s behavior.
Put yourself in rooms you’ve never been in and see what sinks in.
You never know what you may discover and how powerful the impact may be on your life and the lives of everyone you bump into along the way.
Yours in learning,
Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia
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Recommended Reads
If you love both reading and the environment, you are going to love BetterWorldBooks.
BetterWorldBooks donates one book to someone in need for every book sold! They also offer used books to save you cash while saving some trees in the process!
I highly recommend checking their collection of books first before searching on Amazon because let’s be honest, Jeff doesn’t need your money.
The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander
The Body Keeps the Score: Mind, Brain, and Body in the Transformation of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
Feminasty: The Complicated Woman’s Guide to Surviving the Patriarchy Without Drinking Herself to Death by Erin Gibson
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