Kindergarten Speak: How to Distill the Complicated and Be as Clear as a Five Year-Old

As a grown up person with grown up problems, it can feel like there’s no clear understanding or solution to a tricky circumstance.

But, I’d argue that if you engage your 5 year-old self, or channel a child in your life like your niece, nephew, or that way-too-honest neighbor kid, things would become real clear real quick.

Note: This post may contain affiliate links. If you click a link and make a purchase, I may get a commission from the advertiser. This is just one way I can monetize my blog and keep those good posts coming, completely free to you! Rest assured, I only endorse or advertise products I believe in. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

If you are an avid reader here at Miss Magnolia Says, you probably know that my daytime big-kid career job is a school psychologist across a few local charter schools. I get to work with students from kindergarten to seniors in high school, both one-on-one and occasionally as an observer in their classrooms. And I see honesty.

Real and clear heels-in-the-mud hardstops when it comes to right and wrong.

There’s a reason why the words of so many youngins, what I like to call “kindergarten speak,” is made into viral memes that offer a whole new perspective on what we as adults can complicate.

Let me give you an example:

You are at brunch with a friend and her toddler. You’re doing your best to have a coded adult conversation about how your boyfriend forgot your birthday but he’s been swamped at work and with taking care of his elderly parents and you know he cares so you feel hurt but are trying to be understanding and blah blah blah.

Then your friend’s kid slams his orange juice on the table after a huge gulp through a fabulous purple curly straw and says, “Auntie Jenny, your boyfriend sounds mean.”

You look at your friend and laugh because while you don’t really think your boyfriend is “mean,” you do think he should have made you a priority no matter how busy life gets.

So after this mental gymnastics of trying to convince yourself to not feel your hurt feelings is interrupted by some kindergarten real talk, you can see the problem way more clearly.

And you don’t feel so bad anymore.

This is of course a generic example, but tell me right now that it isn’t completely true.

What to Do if You Don’t Have an Honest Kinder in Your Life

I have the privilege of getting to see these conversations and strong sense of justice from kiddos at my day job.

Even if you don’t have an honest kindergartener in your life, I encourage you to channel your inner kid next time you feel yourself in a moral tug-of-war, or when mulling over a problem that seems to have no solution.

If you laid it all out there for a five year-old, coded in a kinder-appropriate manner if needed, what do you think they’d say?

Are they right?

Would they say you’re the one who’s being mean?

How might this change your perception of the problem or your approach to solving it?

Every problem, when the complicated is stripped away, has a solution and your inner kid might know exactly what that is.

Once Upon a Time in Therapy

When I was in therapy as a teen, I felt so pressurized and weighted down by a sense that my problems had no solutions.

I had to go to my dad’s apartment every other weekend. It was in the court papers. How could I defy a court ruling? I’m a law abiding lady who didn’t ask for this.

I had to shut myself in my room to drown out his words that made my skin crawl. I had no way to leave and I couldn’t put into words the nature of the psychological abuse that had its intended effect - to keep me confused, isolated, and defeated.

In one therapy session that I talk about regularly, my therapist asked me if I had thought about setting some boundaries.

I looked at her as though she was about to follow it up with, “just kidding that’s not possible,” because it sounded like a true fantasyland suggestion. So I sat there thinking “Duh, lady, I would if I could!”

But she continued.

She said, “Maybe you don’t answer the phone every time he calls. Maybe you join a club after school to reduce the time you spend at home. Maybe you drive to his apartment on the weekends instead of him picking you up, so you don’t feel so trapped. Maybe you ask a friend to call you at a certain time to check in so you can break away for a few minutes and have a lifeline?”

Or in kindergarten speak: “I don’t get it. That doesn’t sound fun. Why do you go over there? Can you bring a friend? I would bring my best friend Katie with me if I had to go to a mean person’s house.”

The Value of Simple Honesty

Kindergarten speak.

The gentle redirect of a caring therapist.

A friend who isn’t afraid to shake you until you see your worth.

An article or memoir that offers you a hand to lift you out of isolation by letting you know your experience is shared and there’s a way forward.

Each of these offer a hit-the-brakes moment on our mental runaway trains of thought are the most valuable force on our healing journeys.

They offer a sudden gasp of clarity, and with clarity comes new ideas and steps into a brighter path.

Listen to that voice. Allow the solution to be that simple.

Because sometimes, it is.

Yours in listening to my inner kinder,

Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia

Check Out these Related Posts

Grab the Guided Journal

If you are looking for more brain-bending questions and inspirational anecdotes, get yourself a copy of Write it to Right it: The Guided Journal for Serious People with Scattered Brainthoughts. You can also download a sneak peak of chapter 3 by entering your email in the footer below. Happy journaling!

Emily Rose2 Comments