What to Do When Your Positive Mindset is Tired: 6 Tips to Try Today
Is it just me, or does the world today feel like a giant unending window display of the damaging affects of corporate greed, unsolvable wars and poverty, and the tightening grip of the patriarchy?
If you are feeling caught up in the doomscroll (a fancy word for wide-eyed scrolling on your phone from one catastrophic thing to the next) and your spirit is disintegrating with each headline that reads, “Intense weather resulting from climate change only going to get worse,” “Afghan women watch their freedoms slip away,” and “Wealthy male actor/doctor/politician/professor evades conviction after sexual assault allegations despite Everest-sized evidence,” well all I can say is, you are not alone.
It is normal to experience compassion fatigue, or the overwhelm associated with caring so much that you start to shut down and lose your capacity for caring about anything at all, when the problems of the world feel almost never-ending.
I would describe myself as a positive person, but somedays it feels just plain impossible to sustain this mindset.
If your positive mindset is feeling unable to match the onslaught of bad things, here are some tips on ways to reset and reconnect with your positivity, because the world needs it.
Tips for Maintaining a Positive Mindset in a Crazy World
This list is certainly not exhaustive, and you may feel like one of these items is totally unrealistic for you while another feels like it was written exactly for your life.
Feel free to take the stuff that speaks to you, and leave the rest.
Close some tabs in your brain
There are pros and cons to the internet.
Some of the obvious pros are having access to an ocean of information at all times, the opportunity to connect with others who are outside of our immediate space in the world, and definitely the entertainment in the form of memes and gifs that let us laugh even on bad days.
But the cons are quite weighty: The infectious spread of misinformation and an algorithm that serves only what you want to see, trolls whose favorite pastime is to hate on others, and of course - the endless exposure to the worst of the news that leaves us feeling largely helpless.
Consider this fact of evolution - humans were designed to live in groups of about 150 people.
And because of this, we can easily empathize with 150 people. We can tolerate 150 people. We feel capable of playing a role in helping a group of 150 people. We can find our niche or place in the world or purpose in a group of 150 people.
But humans weren’t designed to be exposed to the tragedies (or successes) of billions of people every hour of every day.
This isn’t to say we shouldn’t care about the people with whom we share this world, it’s to say that we should understand our true human limits and work within them.
So the next time you feel overwhelmed, allow that feeling.
Take a deep breath and understand that your brain is simply maxed out with worrying about a world full of billions of people, instead of a tribe of less than 200.
More on this in tip number 4!
Get back to basics
Open the doors wide and clean out the closet of your life. Look carefully at your calendar and start to declutter your engagements.
When we feel overwhelmed by the world, it’s helpful to take a look at our immediate environment and ask ourselves, what can go?
What can you take off your plate or say no to in order to have a bit more room to breathe?
One great way to declutter is to crack open a journal or the notes app on your phone and start with a brain dump.
Get all your thoughts and overwhelm out of your head and onto paper. Look at what comes out and acknowledge it all.
Write down where you spend your time or energy each day and how that might contribute to some over-activation or feeling emotionally overextended.
Then, pick through this metaphorical pile of old sweaters and decide what stays and what goes.
Is it your Sunday evening phone call with your not-so-adorably racist grandparent? Or the social media accounts that only make you feel like you’d rather never leave your house again?
Only you will know what should stay, and what should very immediately go.
Get connected and inspired
If we can consume things that drain us, we can also surround ourselves with things that inspire us.
Did you know that it takes about five positive thoughts to counteract one negative one? Negative thoughts stick out in our brain like a flashing neon sign because they are generally associated with things we want to avoid in order to maintain our own health or wellbeing.
For example, if Mr. Nomad Human from millions of years ago saw a lion, his brain would respond with a forceful current of adrenaline and log that memory as “Urgent, must never forget.” If Mr. Nomad Human from millions of years ago happened upon a field of wildflowers, his brain would log this as “Pleasant, though unimportant for survival.”
Today, the likelihood of encountering a lion in our day-to-day is very low, however your brain still has this same way of prioritizing negative information over the positive because this pathway was forged as a way of keeping us alive.
Negative things in life will happen. There’s no way around that.
You may fight with a friend, get made fun of for the way you show up in the world, or get in a fender bender on the way to the gym.
And while all of these things may weigh heavily on your mind, you can still have a say in what gets to take up your brainspace by intentionally spending time in positive experiences or generating positive thoughts to dilute the negative ones.
Try packing your nighstand with a pile of inspirational books, going to a live poetry reading, watching a TedTalk, or spending time with a kid - their Kindergarten speak is as honest and adorable as it gets.
DO something
As much as it may feel like it, worrying and watching the news to stay informed out of guilt of ignorance is NOT doing something.
It doesn’t help you or help those who need it by scrolling on your phone, or having the news on in the background all day long. It only keeps you feeling like shit.
There is a great episode of Glennon Doyle’s podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, that explains this concept as clear as an ice cold glass of Brita water.
A good way tackle the big problems, is to start small and start in your own community. AKA “Think (or worry) globally, act locally.”
Participate in a food drive for your local food back, donate to a reputable cause for social justice reform, sign a petition online for issues you care about, or sign up to make calls on behalf of a candidate you really believe in for the next election.
Doing something doesn’t always have to cost money, and it’s a great way to help you feel like you are part of the solution to all the big scary problems than allowing yourself to be consumed with existential worry.
Get in your body
This is the one I need reminded of most, to get out of my head and into my body.
Take a break from those scattered brainthoughts and spend even twenty minutes generating endorphins, a sense of strength, and relax your nervous system with some yoga, a bike ride, or even sitting at a duck pond just breathing in and out.
Sometimes our thoughts can be a runaway train and the best way to pull the breaks is to move. To work out our stresses and relax our minds by getting a good sweat in. Bonus points if you do it outside for some sunshine!
Reassess
When you have moved through steps 1-5 and hopefully start to feel a bit more restored and grounded, take a moment to reassess where you want to spend your energy or direct your attention in the future.
What drains you that you want to steer clear of? What sustains you that you want to devote more time to?
Take stock and start with making some small changes where you can.
We only have a limited amount of energy in a given day.
This week, try giving yourself a moment every morning to set limits or goals for the day such as, “Doomscroll for a max of 20 minutes today, then counterbalance with a walk outside and a phone call with a friend.”
You’ve got this.
Remember, there are no awards for carrying around the most burdens, or being crushed to death under the weight of wokeness without having stepped out of your head and into some action.
Help yourself and help others by putting limits on things that suck your positive energy, so that you have more of it leftover to change the world for the better.
Have another great idea for supporting a positive mindset in this wild world? Tell us about it in the comments!
Positively yours,
Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia
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Empathy and Absorbed Trauma: How to Stay an Effective Healer - Some of us who identify as empaths might have a hard time not taking the full weight of the world's problems and putting it on our own shoulders. This is evidence of great love and good intentions, as well as a lack of boundaries that will surely lead to burnout.
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