Are Dream Jobs Even Real?

We have all heard the term “dream job,” but is a dream job a real thing?

This term places a lot of pressure on us to mesh two different, sometimes very different, things: dreams and jobs, into one.

Not to mention, we often have to decide just what exactly we want to do with “the rest of our lives” when we are mere teenagers.

I do think there are many people who truly love their jobs and would assert that they have “their dream job.”

I also think that there are many of us who feel like our dreams and our job might be two very different things and are experiencing a whole range of negative emotions in response to this knowing.

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Maybe feeling guilty for not loving the degree you pursued, or the internship you beat out 60 other applicants to get, or knowing how much “better” you have it in the workforce than maybe your parents or grandparents did.

Maybe even feeling a little bit broken, like everyone else seems to have cracked the corporate code and you are dragging ass to your laptop each morning despite making a salary that you feel pretty good about.

Why the Term “Dream Job” Exists

Let’s put it this way, the idea that we are supposed to mesh dream and job is just way too much pressure. It also exists for a reason, and that reason likely has a lot to do with money.

In our world today, the economy is often used as the number one metric for the health of a nation.

But the health of the actual people in the nation, who are contributing to the economy, is lower down on the list of things we typically boast about.

The (corporate) American dream is to entice people to work hard for lots of hours to produce a large economy, pay them for that work through dollars, and dictate exactly how those dollars should be spent (think: dream home too) so they flow directly back into the economy.

It’s a cycle that keeps you stuck within it.

You go to work for lots of hours to make as much money as you can, spend the money on the things that society deems important, and go to work to earn the money to pay for the things you bought.

This is the capitalist loop of producing, earning, and spending that is bound to continue to produce the same results: often discontent and exhaustion.

It is no one’s dream to work all the time, even when you do love it.

Our society has such a stake in our enjoyment of work because it relies on us working, so the fallacies of “loving what you do” or working in your “dream job” are spoon fed to us.

We turn our cheeks as this spoon inches toward us, because on initial assessment it doesn’t look appetizing at all.

But when we hear a reassuring word from a parent or friend to go to college (it tastes good, just try it), pick a degree that “makes sense” (this food is a healthy option), and enter the job market as a means of security (c’mon just try it), we turn forward and take a bite.

We take a bite because society said so, because it’s what we see and hear as the key to success and fulfillment, because the message “If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life,” is played on repeat at every stage of our lives.

Ugh and UGH.

It makes sense to cultivate a career that you enjoy, since we all need to make money and it feels better to earn money for something you are well aligned with.

But the level of pressure we often put on ourselves to find our dream job, often leaves us feeling stressed out or unfulfilled.

Take the Pressure Off Yourself

Dreams are not always jobs, and jobs are not always dreams.

If you don’t know what you want to “do with the rest of your life” when you are 18 or 25 or 30, that is actually more normal than you think.

It is more than okay to have a job that provides structure to your life, a paycheck, and coworkers you love, and still not view it as your life’s ultimate purpose.

It doesn’t make you ungrateful or broken.

You can pursue your dreams outside of the place you collect a paycheck.

In fact, it’s easier to pursue your dreams when you stop stuffing yourself into the expectation of loving your job as your greatest fulfillment or source of identity when it just isn’t feeling like that.

Personal Story Time

If you have been around here on the blog long enough, then you know I love a good anecdote.

So, here it goes.

When I started college, I declared a psychology major and intended to become a therapist.

Then my junior year, I volunteered for the National Suicide Prevention Hotline and became completely overwhelmed with the emotional load I was carrying and doubted my abilities to separate work life from home life.

So, I pivoted.

I instead pursued School Psychology, because I still loved all things psychology and mental health, but I wanted to have more of a balance in job requirements so that I was not spending a full 40 hours each week in heavy emotions.

So I went to graduate school for something I thought would be the perfect balance, my potential “dream job.”

Now, after working as a school psychologist for about 4 years, I started to doubt myself again.

What if I picked the wrong thing?

What if being a therapist was my actual dream job and I bailed too early?

What does it mean about me if I only like my career and don’t love it?

Should I start over until I find what I love instead of what I like?

Listen, I have thought about this extensively over the last two years and I have come to this conclusion.

I feel unsettled because I feel saturated in “shoulds.”

The shoulds sound something like this:

You should completely love what you do.

You should feel like your work isn’t even work, because of how much you love it.

You should give everything to your work. After all, you’re in a helping profession and if you don’t love it, it’s like you don’t even truly care.

Guess what, “should” stew tastes terrible.

You can like your job and pursue your dreams outside of that job because you get to decide how your life unfolds and how you spend your time.

So hop out of that tall steaming pot of should stew, take a deep breath, and come back to yourself for a minute.

How do you want to spend your life?

What does work mean to you?

What does work not mean to you?

Start diving inward to answer these questions and see what comes up for you.

You may decide you want to change your entire career, or just your mindset around what career means to you.

You may decide that your job is your work and your dreams are something else entirely, and that may be a beautiful weight lifted from your shoulders.

Or you may find that your work really is your dream job, and that is a beautiful thing too.

Any decision is fabulous, because you decided it for you.

Yours in loving like,

Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia

Grab the Guided Journal

If you are looking for more brain-bending questions and inspirational anecdotes, get yourself a copy of Write it to Right it: The Guided Journal for Serious People with Scattered Brainthoughts.

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Emily RoseSeptember 6, 2021Comment