How to Protect Your Peace

I don't know about you, but my biggest priority in life is to protect my peace - to protect my mental wellness, positive outlook on the world, and prevent burnout or feeling wholly drained.

It is no secret that these past few years, and 2020 especially, have brought about clashes between many types of people. As a lifelong student of psychology, I believe that most people are good.

However, this belief can seem hard to find evidence for in the world today - particularly in the internet world and the news world.

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To make sense of the seemingly chaotic interactions and intentions of people in the world today, I find that going back to basics for universal truths is the best route to understanding.

It just so happens that one of the top tenets of yoga is to protect your peace, and dismiss anything that is not truth - because entertaining nonsense or people who yell their opinions is a dangerous route to losing your peace of mind.

No wonder I find myself taking exasperatedly long exhales in times of stress!

Even if you are not a yogi, stick around for few and see if there is something comforting you can take with you.

Diving into Old School Learning for Insight to Protect your Peace of Mind

To quickly summarize some thousand-years-old teachings: there are things called the Yoga Sutras. You can think of these as similar to the commandments or otherwise thoughtful recommendations on how best to live a life.

The author of these Sutras is known as Patanjali (too long of a story to diverge into for this article, so roll with me here), and he describes four distinct groups of people: The Happy, the Unhappy, the Virtuous, and the Wicked.

The Happy people are those who have "arrived." They are self aware and grounded and are pretty much who we all aim to be.

The Unhappy are those who indulge in mucky emotions like jealousy, anger, and hatred - and they live a life stuck in these feelings and beliefs. Ever heard the phrase, "Resentment is like drinking poison, waiting for your enemy to die?" That's this group of people - hydrating on poisonous nonproductive feelings that keep them stuck, and do nothing to the objects of their jealousy.

To keep our peace in dealing with Unhappy people, the key here is (non-indulgent) compassion. We should have compassion for unhappy people, as we have all likely been there at one point or another.

Then there's the Virtuous. These are the super unicorns of people. Think Michelle Obama and RBG. You get it - heros.

We can learn from Virtuous people and aim to incorporate some of their ways of life into our own lives in order to aim higher.

To protect our inner peace means we're not hoping that a Virtuous or Happy person somehow becomes less virtuous or less happy so that we can "catch up."

The goal is to appreciate these examples and sprinkle in positive change in your own life, to move you forward in becoming happy and virtuous too.

Seeing others who have all the good things doesn't mean there are fewer good things around, it means you can have these things too through maintaining your peace (and working your butt off, let's be real).

How to Talk to Those Who Aren't Listening

Then there's the old-school term for the fourth group of people known in the Sutras as the Wicked. Spooky, right?

Keep in mind, the biggest goal in yoga is to keep your peace and a serene mind that is in constant pursuit of truth.

Trying to advise people who are committed to misunderstanding and are uninterested in growth, A.K.A. the Wicked, will only take your peace and change no one.

In dealing with this group of people, the Yoga Sutras recommend indifference.

Why?

Because wicked people can only hope to learn through their own life experiences, since they are not open to new ideas presented by others. They perceive advice as an attack rather than an extended hand.

When I read this, I felt both relieved and a little bit like I had just learned of the ultimate cop-out.

That people who fit this "wicked" category in my mind (far-righters, white nationalists, many of my uncles - you get it), can go unchecked because what's the point - they won't change, and I will feel like hot garbage.

So, I've come up with a middle ground between the ancient teachings of yoga and my small millennial self:

Offer your insight even to those who don't want it, and step away when your peace is in fact threatened.

To recognize a wicked person and do nothing is, in my singular opinion, a route to unchallenged shit behavior that can hurt others.

Understand that you may not be heard, and it is then perfectly acceptable to respond with indifference.

Also understand that if each person who encounters a decidedly unmoving mind chose to offer a new perspective before walking away, that mind may be more receptive to accept a new outlook with each challenge to their beliefs.

At least, that is my hope.

So walk that balance beam if you feel able. Offer a new perspective, then back away in protection of the peace you work so hard to foster each day.

You can do both.

To Reiterate: Boundaries + Self Care = Rock Solid Inner Peace

If you've read any article on this blog before, you know I love to wave two very important flags: Boundary Building and Nonnegotiable Self Care.

Sounds like a fun parade, right?

Whether you find comfort in the relevance and recommendations of ancient texts like the Yoga Sutras, or you prefer to receive your advice from beautifully worded Instagram quotes, the messaging is the same.

You are worth protecting.

Your happiness, and your peace, is yours to protect.

We can keep our peace by building sturdy boundaries that let in only what serves us, and lets in only good things.

Our peace of mind needs the support of routine, nonnegotiable, super fun self care.

Saying "No" is an act of self love. If you need help saying no in all spaces, check out this free resource I created for exactly this occasion.

We are not responsible for the Wicked in the world, but that doesn't mean we can also do nothing. We can offer love and a new perspective, and recognize that this is not an unlimited offering that allows for attack on our own peace of mind.

So speak your peace, then step back and allow the same life that taught you how to be and act and show up in the world, to do the same for someone else.

Yours in balancing gentle challenges with protecting my peace,

Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia

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How to Experience and Express Gratitude - Expressing gratitude is not B.S. It’s the surest way to reframe your mindset to look for and hold tightly to experiences you may be discounting, and help build a strong foundation of the life that you already have, and the life you are trying to create.

Self Reflection and Pe...October 26, 2020Comment