How to Manage Anxiety
Before you read further, I have a disclaimer for you: I am a school psychologist and personal anxiety sufferer who knows a ton about managing anxiety, from both professional and personal experience. However, this definitely does not mean that I know what is best for you. Only you know that! I hope that you find some great ideas and tools in this article, and design the best plan of action for you.
Now onto the good stuff!
Let's just say it: Anxiety is terrible. It's awful, mean, crushing, derailing, dizzying, inconvenient, very hot, terrifying, and sneaky.
You might know when anxiety or panic is creeping in, or it may decide to surprise you at your best friend's housewarming party for no discernable reason at all.
It's often a roller coaster that I feel tightly buckled into against my will- and that feeling in itself is enough to make me anxious.
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What Anxiety Feels Like
Anxiety can show up as feelings of dread, excessive worrying, jumbled thoughts, difficulty breathing, feelings of overheating, sweating, dizziness, lightheadedness, a sudden feeling that you are dying, a crushing heaviness in your chest or my personal favorite - feeling tingly, like an electric current is running from my head and makes a quick pause to swirl around my kneecaps (making me feel instantly faint), before shooting back upwards into my chest to ignite unwelcome heart palpitations.
Again - a roller coaster.
Anxiety is not worrying over normal things, like when your car breaks down (although for an anxious person this would totally suck even more).
Anxiety is also not "all in your head" - it can produce very real physiological responses in your body, like the sweating and dizziness I mentioned earlier.
It is also not something you can "stop doing," though there are ways to cope and structure your routines to reduce anxiety and panic attacks.
My Anxious Life - The Beginning
I had my first panic attack when I was 12.
If you have read some of my other articles on the blog, it's no secret I lived in a household with a dad who behaved abusively. I felt compressed with unchanneled stress, and one day I was crushed by the weight that I carried.* *(Possible trigger warning, if you don't like blood, skip this section)
I had a sinus infection (I was blessed with recurring sinus infections as a kid) and had blown my nose so many times that I actually cracked a vein at the back of my nose.
Yeah. Twas bad.
Blood poured steadily down the back of my throat until a clot would form. Then, if I moved too suddenly or laid down at the wrong angle, the clot would dislodge and move down the back of my nose and down my throat in what is truly one of the most disgusting and freaky things I have ever experienced.
Because the cracked vein was far enough back, blood poured down my throat instead of out my nose. Meaning that it couldn't be seen by my parents, to whom I desperately tried to explain my terror. After over a day, my mom took me to the emergency room, where the doctor cauterized my cracked nose vein and sent me home.
That night, I laid in bed and the panic set in. I felt like I couldn't breathe, because I had felt unable to breathe for a day. I felt like a heavy molten metal was surging through my body, weighing me down and burning my skin from the inside.
Y'all - panic attacks are just plain brutal.
So, now that we all get what anxiety and panic can look like, let's talk about ways to keep these feelings and body responses at bay - and work through anxiety when it does happen.
Coping Skills and Tools to Reduce Anxiety in Your Daily Routine
I have found that managing anxiety means more than just playing whack-a-mole and addressing panic when it happens. For me, it means designing a daily routine that includes lots of self care built right in, to reduce the likelihood that anxiety or panic will sneak in.
Here are some tidbits I like to sprinkle throughout my days and weeks to keep myself ahead of anxiety:
1. Go for a walk (with my dog - yes please!)
2. Get some exercise every day - even if that means walking for 10 minutes on the treadmill.
3. Give yourself time to wake up and slow down your morning routine - don't rush out the door. Have a cup of coffee at the table instead of in your car, make tea instead (less caffeine), make yourself a true breakfast - you get the idea!
4. Set out your clothes the night before - this is not only a time saver to reduce the stress of your morning, but it also can help you fall asleep easier knowing you are more prepared for the day ahead.
5. Use essential oils in your laundry (but Google it beforehand, there's rules on how to do this safely).
6. Use a heat pack or cold pack to relax as needed
7. Write down a list of affirmations, mantras, or things you are grateful for whenever you feel yourself in a negative headspace, or just when you think of it.
8. Consider seeing a therapist or joining a group therapy if it interests you - I have benefitted greatly from both.
9. Hug family and friends to generate some warm fuzzies for everyone!
10. Do one thing at a time - practice mindfulness over multitasking.
11. Meal prep when you can to make eating healthy easier. Serotonin is found primarily in your gut, so gut health is extremely important to mental and emotional health!
12. If you're feeling like you need more, consider asking your doctor about medications that might make sense for you to try.
Getting Quality Sleep
For many people with anxiety, it can be hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. When you're sleep deprived, you're less likely to be at your best, which can be even more anxiety provoking and the cycle continues.
Here are some ideas that work for me to maintain good sleep hygiene - yes, this is a thing.
1. Set an alarm to let you know it's time to start your bedtime routine.
2. Make tea before bed to wind down.
3. Do a facemask to give your skin a refresh.
4. Set up an essential oils diffuser (this is the one I have and I love it! It changes colors too) with peppermint or lavender
5. Stop using your phone at least 30 minutes before sleep.
6. Change your pillowcase and sheets regularly, and use as many pillows as you dang well please.
7. Use a weighted blanket to help settle your body before sleep.
8. Read a book to transition from your phone to sleep.
9. Stretch before getting into bed.
10. Use a white noise machine or fan to drown out any excess noise.
Coping Skills When Anxiety Decides to Make an Appearance
When you're in the middle of anxious feelings or a panic attack, it can feel overwhelming or out of control.
Here are some things to try in the moment that may help reduce anxiety.
1. Drink a glass of ice water.
2. Lay on the floor on your back with your legs up the wall.
3. Practice grounding - name 2 things you can see, 2 things you can smell, and 2 things you can hear to bring yourself back into the space when your mind is swirling.
4. Hold something heavy in your lap or to hug, like this weighted lap pad (kind of like a mini weighted blanket) - I like to lay down with a bag of rice on my chest (I know it sounds weird, but when you find what works you use it!).
5. Wrap yourself in an oversized blanket or comforter.
6. Snap a hair tie or rubberband on your wrist - this is also something to help bring you back into the present when your mind is swirling in all directions.
7. Hold something soft like a blanket, stuffed animal, or snuggle your pet.
8. "Smell the flower, blow out the candle" - This is a deep breathing exercise in which you visualize smelling a flower (deep inhale) and blowing out a candle (long exhale) until you start to feel more calm.
9. Keep your hands busy - color something funny like "Dapper Animals," doodle, play an instrument, knit, do something small and active to channel your anxious energy and redirect your focus.
10. Smell some good smells - use some essential oils, light an aromatic soy candle, or put on a favorite lotion.
Anxiety can feel like it's all consuming or inescapable, and I don't know about you, but that in itself makes me anxious. That may be true, but I'm here to tell you that building in solid supports to my everyday, and especially before big events that I know will make me anxious (hello, bloodwork), has helped me immensely.
As always, self care is a nonnegotiable! Whether you struggle with anxiety or not, the value of taking care of your body and brain is immeasurable.
What is your staple action in your self care or anti-anxiety routine? Tell us in the comments!
Yours in the pursuit of calm,
Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia
Check out these related posts on the blog!
Working Within Your Bubble - Easy ways to affect change, and feel less overwhelmed in the process.
Self Care Routine: Where to Start and How to Maintain - 19+ FREE self care ideas to add into your routine today.
Let's Talk about Therapy - An in-depth perspective of what it's like to go to therapy, addressing expectations, and tips for getting the most of of your experience.
Neck and Shoulder Tension: No Thank You - Tips to reduce neck and shoulder tension before it takes over your day. You don't get points for how much you can endure before you break!