Anxiety in the Sky: How to Manage Anxiety While Flying
Photo by @by_syeoni on Unsplash
When people find out that I am an anxious flyer, they assume I have issues with claustrophobia or turbulence. I don’t. I have a very common and unfortunate fear of getting sick, like needing-the-white-paper-bag sick. This fear exists in many situations (car rides when I am passenger-ing, trying new foods, etc.), but especially when I can’t get out of a situation. Thus, anxiety on planes.
Maybe your flight anxiety stems from none of the above and you have a major peanut allergy or allergy to elderly men in homemade head-to-toe MAGA sweatsuits (fair). Whatever the reason, I’m happy to offer up all the tips and witchcraft I use to get through a flight from booking my flight, the week before a flight, to the day of, to the day after (yeah, I mean business). Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be an educational ride.
The Best Way to Book a Flight When You Have Anxiety
When I say, “The Best Way,” I mean the best way for me. You may read this and find something you hadn’t thought of before, or you may think that all my “bests” are stupid and you prefer to do the exact opposite and that is of course, totally fine.
When I book a flight, I enter my TSA PreCheck number (Make this appointment, you won’t regret it!) and I pay the fee to select my seat in advance. I view the extra money as an Anxiety Tax, or another expense of being an anxious person, but I also know that doing whatever I can to reduce my anxiety even a little bit is worth it to me. If I take my chances and get stuck at the back of the plane with IBS Ian coming and going to and from the bathroom every eleven minutes, I will be much worse off than if I just resigned myself to paying the extra $35 and picking an aisle seat or an exit row seat so I don’t feel like I’m suffocating.
Yes, I do recognize that it is a major privilege to be able to spend more when I don’t “have” to. If funds are tight, you also might try getting to the gate early and asking the airline representative what seats are still available and if you might be able to select the best option to support your anxiety.
When booking longer flights, I tend to choose a nighttime departure. When I fly at night, I have a better chance of sleeping through a good amount of the flight since my body is already used to snoozing at this time and the lights are down low, which feels much more relaxing to me.
Not that I would choose this particular strategy on purpose, but I have also found that being inconvenienced helps. When I’ve had a flight get delayed for hours or have been stuck on the tarmac waiting for a mechanical issue to be resolved (which I obviously want fixed), my energy often shifts from “Argghhhh, flying” to “Let’s get this show on the road!” So, blessing in disguise for the anxious? I think so.
For longer flights, you might prefer a nonstop option in order to takeoff once and land once. Or, you might prefer to choose a flight that has a connection about halfway to your destination so you can have a break to stretch your legs and have two shorter flights instead of one long one. But, to state the obvious, connections can also come with more stress if your first flight is late and your connection is tight or missed, or if the first flight is on time but the connection is delayed and your whole trip just got a lot longer. You get it, pros and cons.
Managing Anxiety the Week Before A Flight
The week before I fly, I am often full of nervous energy. I may try to think of a way out of my trip (Well, I’m seeing my family next June at that wedding, so do I really need to be there for ___?), I may have a short temper because I feel tense and stressed, and my digestion tends to be more whack than usual.
Having learned these things about myself, I now employ many strategies the week of a flight to manage my anxiety. I make sure to go to the gym and get more physical activity than usual since a tired body is less likely to be a tense body. I make a list of what I would like to pack for my trip so there is no last minute, “Oh, shit. What do I need to pack?” stress to add to the pile. I shop for my favorite travel snacks (pretzels and granola bars). I schedule one or two social outings to get out of my own head and surround myself with people who make me feel good, which in turn makes me feel less bad.
24 Hours Out/ Day Of a Flight
The night before I fly, I eat a boring but filling dinner. I am a fan of pasta with lots of veggies. You do you. I pack my suitcase with everything I need, then I add my shower caddy and phone charger in the morning once I’m done using them. I tend to pack a carry-on suitcase and a backpack for most trips.
I put my backpack under the seat in front of me on the flight so I have access to all the things I could possibly want, which includes noise-cancelling headphones, an Icy Hot roller that I roll on my low back and neck before boarding, lots of peppermint gum, snacks, a cold water bottle that I’ve purchased at the airport (I normally am fine refilling my Hydroflask with lukewarm fountain water, but for a flight I want ice cold), a mask (85% so I don’t have to smell Chad’s extra teriyaki beef jerky and 15% cuz, Covid), a neck pillow that I hug on my lap, my Reliefband - a watch that sends electrical impulses to the vagus nerve to prevent nausea, contact solution in case my eyes get dry, a book and a notebook that I won’t use but I like to have, Dramamine that I pop before the flight, and Advil just in case I get a headache. The backpack is full.
The day of my flight, I eat a boring but filling breakfast, typically oatmeal with blueberries and almond butter, and time it out to be 3-4 hours before my flight. I don’t have caffeine the day that I fly to avoid my heart racing, because I definitely don’t need that. If my flight leaves late in the evening, I usually have a snack for lunch and still don’t have anything within 3 hours of my takeoff time. If my flight for some reason gets delayed (as it does), I have my snacks of choice on hand.
I download more hours than I need of podcast episodes, comedy specials on Netflix, audiobooks, and songs or soundtracks to listen to while at the airport and on the flight itself.
I wear a version of the same outfit each time that I fly. This is not out of superstition, believe it or not, but is because I have found the perfect combination of compression and looseness and why would I mess with a good thing? I wear leggings with pockets for my phone and ID to make going through TSA PreCheck even easier. I wear a sports bra and a T-shirt with a loose, low collar and a sweatshirt that is not too heavy and not too tight, so I don’t overheat and also can take it off without clocking my seat mate in the face. I wear a baseball hat so I feel like I am in a nice cave and can hide from bright lights and have a better chance at sleeping.
During a Flight
I have perfected my in-flight resources as you know, from hearing all about the contents of the backpack. I tend to put my headphones on when I am at the gate, because the last thing I need is to overhear someone talk about how they have a stomach ache or how the last plane they were on took an emergency landing in Oklahoma due to an unruly passenger. No, thank you! I prefer to board blissfully unaware.
I sign up for the flight alerts through the app of whatever airline I am flying, so that even if I don’t hear an announcement, I get the notifications for boarding on my phone or my smartwatch. Once I board, I get settled in my seat. I put my backpack under the seat in front of me, pull down my mask to pop in a piece of gum, crank open the tiny fan above my seat and angle it directly on me, buckle in, put my neck pillow on my lap like a child’s comfort stuffy (cuz…it is), turn on my Reliefband, and say hi to the others in my row so they know I’m nice and will have the inclination to save me if the plane goes down, or at least wake me if the drink cart goes by so I can get my ginger ale because #fakechampagne and #goodfortummies.
I don’t look at the TV screen to watch movies or reruns of The Big Bang Theory, even though I love both of these things, because I find that it gives me a headache. I listen to music, podcast episodes, comedy specials, or audiobooks that I have downloaded while I close my eyes and try to check out.
If there is turbulence, I have employed the not-scientific-but-also-probably? tactic of tapping my feet or adjusting in my seat here and there. It might (likely) sounds goofy, but I have found that if my body thinks we are in motion because I am in fact, moving, then I am less likely to feel sick or off-kilter. I also take deep breaths in and out to keep my anxiety from increasing.
Once during pretty severe turbulence, I put Eminem on repeat and pretended I was dancing to the music. It’s possible my seat mates thought I was insane, or possibly that I am just a tiny white girl who is very moved by powerful rap music. Who knows and who cares?
If I am feeling a little antsy or just need to move for a bit (or simply have to pee), I will take a break to get up and walk to the restroom. I might also reapply my Icy Hot or take another Dramamine too.*
*I should probably note here, I do not currently take anxiety meds but like, that is always an option to consider and just avoid most of this shenanaginry if you choose.
Day After a Flight
Once I land, I do all the self care things. I eat a nice meal, since I’ve been functionally starving myself. I take a hot shower and have an all around unscheduled and low-key day or night.
I tend to avoid making firm plans for the day that I land since my nervous system has been nervous for hours to a week and it needs some time to chill. So, I chill!
Moral of the story: It’s okay to need more than other people. It’s also okay to be afraid of something and decide what supports you can offer yourself so you can do the thing anyway. Avoidance usually grows fear, so let’s do our best not to water that plant.
Yours,
Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia
Note: All of these recommendations are simply ideas to get through a hard thing and are not professional advice. If you experience anxiety on the regular, it may be a good idea to consult with a therapist or other mental health professional to work on the root cause or develop strategies specific to your needs.
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