What is Closure, Really?
Image by Toa Heftiba via UnSplash
Closure is difficult to define and seemingly elusive as hell.
Closure is knowing that the stove is hot, and having less and less of an urge to touch it.
Closure is going two whole hours without thinking about the person or event, then three hours, then four days, then five weeks.
Closure is setting down the baggage one item at a time until one day, you notice that your hands are free and that weird lingering shoulder pain is gone.
Closure is looking at the calendar and realizing that an anniversary date has come and gone without having wreaked havoc on your present.
Closure is appreciating a thing that used to carry some kind of connotation and maybe still not liking the thing, like South Park or elbow macaroni, but appreciating it nonetheless as a thing that can exist without carrying so much something.
Closure is an uninvited memory showing up in your brain, then passing without overstaying its welcome, evoking nothing more than a long exhale and maybe even a sense of understanding for your past self.
Closure is knowing, not just telling yourself in a faux-confident voice, that you made the right choice for you, past and present.
Closure doesn’t come easily. It’s hard won. It comes without pomp and circumstance or even a validating ribbon or decorative pin for your participation along its grueling trail.
Real closure happens in the absence of our proclamation, similar to the accusatory 2010s phrase, “If you call yourself a hipster, you’re not really a hipster.”
Closure sneaks up on us when we’ve begged it to show up a million times prior, gently takes a seat at our table, removes its hat, and gives us a knowing nod. An ounce of recognition. Come to think of it, maybe, Closure is Tom Hanks.
The one thing to know is, if you stay true to your boundaries and away from the person or thing that’s hurting you, use the windshield more and the rearview mirrors less, Closure will find you.
It will find you in the absence of that familiar stinging pang in your chest or the first time you smile and laugh and really mean it, really feel it.
Closure will find you when you’ve fully given up on it, pull up a seat, and say, “Hi, I’m Tom Hanks.” Or something wise and comforting like that.
Yours patiently waiting at a table for two,
Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia
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