Please enjoy a deep dive into my not-at-all meticulous process of waking up and doing things on an average day that goes something like this…

Wake up slightly before my alarm to the sound of my dog panting 11 inches from my face.

Pretend to be asleep for 4 to 40 more seconds.

Roll over and recount my dreams to my partner who very much does not care or is increasingly concerned about the circus that is my subconscious*.

Throw off the covers, return any pillows to the bed that I’ve thrown onto the floor in my sleep, walk half a step, then trip over the dog in the dark because he insists on guiding me everywhere, which is truly considerate during hours that are light.

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