Humans, Lately

Humans lately have been filling the gaps in my heart that I didn’t fully realize were there. Gaps that had been created by the jolt of a rapid life transition, a sense of loss, too much news and social media consumption. I became aware of the gaps from time to time, but had underestimated their size and sting.

Mr. Rogers said when life feels scary (or too much or when everything goes sideways or you finally get to the grocery store but realize you needed one important thing that didn’t make your list. You get it) to “look for the helpers.” I hadn’t felt like I really needed helpers, but I definitely and desperately needed humans and humanness. It hasn’t been hard to spot them lately, as our interactions have resulted in shared or silent laughter, and even happy tears (me).

Here is a list of some of these humans lately who have made my days a little brighter:

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Guy on the elevator with me at the Boston airport. The doors closed and suddenly a compilation of birds chirping and doorbells dinging came loudly through the speaker. Guy and I immediately made eye contact. I said, “Not the ambiance I would have expected…but, okay.” He chuckled and nodded. I held a swelled up laugh in my chest like a hug and smiled under my mask. The doors opened and we went on our ways.

Woman at the front desk at my gym at 7:30 AM one day last week. I had approached with my empty coffee mug and said, “Excuse me, it looks like both coffee carafes are empty. Do you happen to know if more is on the way?” She offered to check and asked me to follow her to the cafe, so I did. I stood near the counter and waited while she entered the kitchen to check on the caffineation situation. She emerged a few seconds later and said, “They’re finishing a new batch now. Would you like me to fill your mug here so you don’t have to wait?” I thanked her with an enthusiasm that would have suggested she’d offered to donate a kidney, and handed her my glass mug. She came back a moment later and handed me my mug, full of steaming hot fresh coffee.

Guy on my 6-hour flight who had impeccable hygiene and even better flying etiquette. He was in the middle seat when I put my bag in the overhead bin and took my spot in the aisle seat. We chit chatted about our destinations as we listened to several announcements indicating this was a “very full flight.” We poked our heads up like polite little meerkats every few seconds to see if our mysterious third row-mate had arrived. After a few minutes, we heard the “doors closed” announcement and looked at each other like siblings on Christmas morning, wide-eyed and a little giddy. I told him not to jinx it, and he promised to never. We continued to alternate peeking up over the row in front of us and sideways down the aisle until it was clear there was no one else coming. He let out an excited cheer, unbuckled, and scooted over to the window seat. We shared the middle seat for the overflow of coats and snacks the whole flight.

New neighbor who, after knowing me for maybe three whole weeks, left a gift bag on my front door handle one morning with a birthday card and treats for my dog. I had told her just a few days before that he was turning 7. It was a pop-up card and everything.

Friend from back home who read a book that she thought I might like, so she sent me a copy. I had been out of town when it arrived, so my aforementioned new neighbor grabbed the package and kept it safe until I got home. Double warm fuzzies.

My sister, who’d heard me talking about how I was kicking around the idea of getting a robe (life changing stuff) but that I was struggling to decide if I was a “robe person.” A few days later, a box arrived for me with a full-length fuzzy robe, Girl Scout cookies, and a book we had both read together the week before and loved. Turns out, I am a robe person.

All the doctors I’ve sought out since moving to my new state in order to squeeze every drop out of my medical insurance before my job contract and benefits end. My new dentist has the patient chair facing a huge picture window and a TV on the wall to the right which plays a slideshow of cows in a pasture that is synced to classical music. The dermatologist who recognized my last name and as a fellow Italian, asked me many questions about Italy, all of which I could not answer, but appreciated nonetheless. The OBGYN who smiled and nodded and gave me a hug when I recounted previous birth control nightmares (do not get an IUD [unless you really reaalllyyy want to, but then again I am not a/your doctor]) and generally, being 31. The therapist who showed up on time to our first virtual appointment with notes from our previous phone call, using a stable camera, asking every good question, and giving very good answers.

The woman a week ago who stood in front of my new neighbor/ friend’s car and crouched down, appearing to be looking inside. Since there have been a series of car break-ins lately, I called out to her from across the street, “Ma’am? Is everything okay?” She turned toward me, smiled, and brought her forefinger to her lips to make the “shhh!” sign. I had never heard of anyone being shushed by a burglar, so I just kept walking my dog and staring in her direction with confusion. She then discreetly pointed toward a man and dog who were approaching on the other side of the car, now just a few yards away. I realized she was simply trying to surprise a friend, and then got to witness her jump out and hug the man, snuggle the dog. It was cute even though it was almost ruined, by me.

Snails. Snails are not humans, but they bring me so much joy. Back in the Midwest, after a rainstorm, it’s the worms that litter the sidewalk looking for their way back home to the dirt. Here on the West coast, it’s snails. I’ve stopped to watch them chomp flowers and have carefully scooted them away from my dog’s Godzilla-like paws. They are all different colors with different swirls on their shells, and I will never stop loving them.

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I know that humans can suck. There is no shortage of evidence to support this claim today or any other time in history. But there are also humans (and snails) who don’t suck, and I hope they make their way into your orbit just as they have mine.

Maybe, you’ll even decide to be one of these humans, and maybe you’ll even end up in the journal or blog post of a random stranger whose day, or week, or month, (or year - too much?) you made.

Yours,

Emily Rose // Miss Magnolia